Anxiety! Yup! Let's get STRAIGHT TO THE POINT!
It's emotionally & psychologically deafening, crippling & haunting! And to those of us who have had to deal w/ this for YEARS…it's ANNOYING! Most ppl have the wrong perception or understanding of anxiety. They think it's more of just “get your head in the game” type of cold feet that you can just pep talk your way out of. Well, IT AIN'T! Another common misconception of this is it is something you can't just organize yourself out of. Well, this is also false…to a degree. See, anxiety isn't something that is a “one size fits everyone else, too” kinda thing. There's different levels & depths to it and each one will take some revisiting and some patience - while some MIGHT CAN TAKE A FEW DOESE OF “TOUGH LOVE”. But, these things matter on who is giving, who is taking & how well your trust is established - whether close friend or complete stranger
Think of anxiety this way: it's like having a list of things to do, but you don't know which thing to start 1st & while you're battling on which should take priority, you're now stressing over the amount of time it has taken to make the decision on what to do - only to realize the less important tasks are now piling up & the later in the day it gets, the less time you have to finish what u could've started hours ago. Then you start one task only to think you can multi-task & realize nothing is getting “done” because there isn't enough time. U want to ask for help but you also know that you don't want to bother anyone w/ what you have going on PLUS u know that they probably won't do it the way you want them to do it - you “Nevermind, I'll just do it” only to realize that it would be so much easier if there were 2 of you! Now, it's time for dinner & you're worried because now you're already worrying about how much time you have left before you have to go to bed for work tomorrow - and it's not even 7pm yet! LOL!!!! So, now you spend the rest of your time thinking about all the shit that didn't get done today that you NOW HAVE TO DO 2morrow! If this sounds like a mess to you, welcome to the brain of someone w/ anxiety (maybe a splash of some ADD, as well).
For myself, my anxiety comes from a few things. It comes from a well balance of having to carry the load mixed w/ some constantly not being good enough w/ a few gallons of lack of reassurance and a heavy dose of broken trust all stuffed in a container of trust & abandonment issues. Sounds tasty, doesn't it?! Trust me - IT AIN'T! For years, I searched for validation & acceptance from others all the while not understanding the importance of these things FOR me FROM me. I was so much of a people pleaser that I completely forgot about the one person who deserved to be pleased first…my damn self!
Are you relating to this, yet?!
Some people go a long period of time being isolated; whether by their environment or due to circumstances within their own battles. Either of these are a major step to understanding the core of a person's demeanor and mindset - but also HOW to approach/relate to him/her/them. Some folks who are primarily isolated, they WANT to be more social - no, seriously, they do - it's just they have been, for lack of better words, “conditioned” that ppl are not trustworthy. So, in some cases, their social cues are way off & revert back to isolation because it's just comfortable for them. Also, from my experience, large crowds also causes their anxiety to skyrocket past their threshold & it can be draining for them. I have learned that in many cases like this, “baby steps” work. Stuff like small gatherings or if you do go out in a big crowed area, a nice sized group of familiar ppl around them helps keeps the nerves more calm; I noticed because everywhere they will look, there is a familiar face
For those who get overwhelmed w/ tasks & to do lists, as I mentioned above, SOMETIMES our anxiety IS from lack of organization. We feel the most overwhelmed by the slightest amount of added responsibility. So, here is ONE task I have learned that works: take a piece of paper, from a notepad or binder - turn it horizontal. About a inch or 2 from the top draw a line all the way across; left to right…or right to left =). Then draw a line vertically between 3 holes, or draw 2 lines making 3 separate sections. Now, from mark the sections as A - B - C. Here's the tea, ladies & gentlemen… Section A; this is your HIGH PRIORITY SECTION! THIS NEEDS TO BE DONE WITHIN THE NEXT 5 MINS OR THE WORLD WILL…no, it's not that serious but this IS the most important tasks that need to be done A.S.A.MF.P.! Section B; this is where “this needs to be done TODAY but as I go through my day" tasks. Not as high priority as Section A - but definitely needs to be checked off. Then, Section C; "this can easily be done 2morrow, or this weekend…or whenever" section of your list. Nowhere near your more pressing “high alert” projects.
I can damn near promise you, when you do this type of prioritization for your day, you're gonna notice how “few” Section A items you have compared to your “MANY” Section C items. When I did this, I was damn near embarrassed w/ what was giving me my anxiety due to what I thought was priority. But as simple of a thing to do like “make a list” helped me understand how to keep my anxiety under (more) control.
For those of you who felt seen and noticed, this was DEFINITELY for you. And to those who can't relate to this, then it was meant for you to help someone you know who deals w/ this to be seen
D. Cal
GNSEntertainmnt.com